I'm writting a book here are some bits and peices..?

Have you considered getting an account on a site aimed and constructive criticism, like elfwood or deviantart, or epilogue.net (not sure if they have literature)? You may get more feedback on a site like that, where there are other artists, some pros and some amateurs. Also, considere taking a creative writing cl that uses a workshopping format- you'll get loads of feedback from people in the same situation as yourself.